Your life is not lying in wait in the future like a wild animal or some ominous destiny. Nor is it hidden in the heavens, like a paradise or promise. Nor is it shut up in the cave or the prison of your past. It is here and now; it is what you live and what you do. At the heart of being; at the heart of the present; at the heart of everything – in the great current of life, of reality.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
It's been a little over a month since Scarlett died, and though I still miss her I can, finally, think of her without crying. I can think of how her little tail wagged in a circle, instead of back and forth. I can think of how she would stand w/ her fronts paws on the bottom stair every night when she was ready for bed and she'd wait, patiently, until we carried her up. I can think of her cute run - that little butt bobbing up and down. I can think of how she would be sleeping at the end of the bed when I came up for the night, but as soon as I laid down she would come up to the top of the bed and snuggle up against me. I can think about the adorable little groaning sound she used (instead of barking) when she wanted something. I can think of all of these things without breaking down and crying....okay, I'm lying - I still cry, but there isn't such pain behind the crying anymore - there's a little bit of gratefulness and happiness, too. I'm grateful to her for bringing me such joy - it was unexpected. I didn't expect to get so attached to her, but I did - she made me happy. I loved taking care of her, I miss taking care of her, but I am grateful for the time I had with her.