Your life is not lying in wait in the future like a wild animal or some ominous destiny. Nor is it hidden in the heavens, like a paradise or promise. Nor is it shut up in the cave or the prison of your past. It is here and now; it is what you live and what you do. At the heart of being; at the heart of the present; at the heart of everything – in the great current of life, of reality.
Andre Comte-Sponville

Monday, September 12, 2011

**Solemn Day**

Yesterday was a solemn day.  It's hard to believe it's been ten years since the terrorists attack on our country.  I remember it like it was yesterday - Brennie was napping and I was watching The Today Show.  Al Roker had just been talking about what a beautiful day it was, and then, suddenly, Bryant Gumbel was on the screen announcing that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.  In the blink of an eye, the day had went from beautiful to tragic.  So, so tragic.  It was surreal seeing the World Trade Center on fire, watching the second plane hit the other tower, learning a third plane had hit the Pentagon and a fourth had crashed in Pennsylvania, seeing all the horrified people running for their lives, watching other people jumping to their deaths from the fire engulfed towers, listening to the message from my grandmother saying that she thought the world was coming to an end, and then, finally, the towers collapsing.  You would think seeing it all once would be enough, but I watched all the coverage yesterday - it somehow seemed wrong not to.  I think, it's important to feel the pain of what so many others have lost.  So, I watched, and I cried.  My heart still breaks for all the lives that were lost, and for all the families who lost those loved ones.  I am so grateful to have my family, and I try to appreciate every moment I have with them because life can change - in the blink of an eye.

Never waste a moment, it may be the last with someone you love. ~Unknown

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I can't decide if I want to cancel plans for this weekend - I'm so torn.  Dave and I are suppose to go out of town for a memorial golf outing in honor of my cousin Brett who died in a car accident in 2004.  I made plans for the girls to stay home with Dave's parents, so Dave and I could have a kid-free weekend, but when I made the plans I didn't know that my sister was going to take her whole family to the outing.  I thought she was going to head down with my parents (or maybe her husband and youngest son), and we'd all have a kind of adult weekend away.  But now she's taking her two older boys, and I'm feeling really bad that my girls aren't going.  They don't get to spend alot of time with their cousins, and I know they would love being there to swim, and just hang out with them.  Plus, after thinking about it, they haven't seen my family downstate in along time, so it would be nice for them to be able to see them.  So, now, my weekend away is not looking as appealing since my girls won't be there.

If we didn't have our dogs none of this would be a problem.  My in-laws were going to stay with the girls and the dogs, but there's no way they'll come over for the weekend to just stay with our dogs, so we don't have anyone to take care of them while we're away.  I love my dogs, but it's times like this that I wish we were a animal-free family!

Anyway, I know a few people will be disappointed if we don't end up going, and I do feel bad about that, but I have to do what feels right for my family, and leaving my girls home while Dave and I, my parents, and my sister and her family go away for the weekend just doesn't feel right - especially when I know my girls want to be there with us.