Your life is not lying in wait in the future like a wild animal or some ominous destiny. Nor is it hidden in the heavens, like a paradise or promise. Nor is it shut up in the cave or the prison of your past. It is here and now; it is what you live and what you do. At the heart of being; at the heart of the present; at the heart of everything – in the great current of life, of reality.
Andre Comte-Sponville

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I can't decide if I want to cancel plans for this weekend - I'm so torn.  Dave and I are suppose to go out of town for a memorial golf outing in honor of my cousin Brett who died in a car accident in 2004.  I made plans for the girls to stay home with Dave's parents, so Dave and I could have a kid-free weekend, but when I made the plans I didn't know that my sister was going to take her whole family to the outing.  I thought she was going to head down with my parents (or maybe her husband and youngest son), and we'd all have a kind of adult weekend away.  But now she's taking her two older boys, and I'm feeling really bad that my girls aren't going.  They don't get to spend alot of time with their cousins, and I know they would love being there to swim, and just hang out with them.  Plus, after thinking about it, they haven't seen my family downstate in along time, so it would be nice for them to be able to see them.  So, now, my weekend away is not looking as appealing since my girls won't be there.

If we didn't have our dogs none of this would be a problem.  My in-laws were going to stay with the girls and the dogs, but there's no way they'll come over for the weekend to just stay with our dogs, so we don't have anyone to take care of them while we're away.  I love my dogs, but it's times like this that I wish we were a animal-free family!

Anyway, I know a few people will be disappointed if we don't end up going, and I do feel bad about that, but I have to do what feels right for my family, and leaving my girls home while Dave and I, my parents, and my sister and her family go away for the weekend just doesn't feel right - especially when I know my girls want to be there with us.

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